Emptiness

Somedays go about me thinking,
I should have died in that operation theatre that day.
Life's always kept me blinking,
About the fact that my story could be presented on a movie theatre someday.

It breaks me everyday to know that I have no one around now,
The one who does really care is somewhere far.
Yet how I bare everything is such a wow,
Shubhi don't be surprised to find me wasted in some random bar.

Everyday in the morning I get up thinking about the sleepless nights,
Nights where I think about when will I able to see you.
Heart waits, Mind thinks while switched off remain the lights,
In these daydreams I wish I felt free and flew.

What I feel right now isn't only emptiness,
It's a mix of being lost and being depressed.
College is been so hard and I find myself in pettiness,
Pressure from everywhere, I just feel stressed.

People who I cared about the most in college waved off a bye,
In this phase of life where I'm again having a tough time.
Rolling down these tears swell up the dear eye,
Everything used to be sweet as sugar, but now it's sour as lime.

Sitting on those stairs alone thought me a few lessons,
Like on stairs people go up and down.
Probably life also goes up and down and the pain in the dark times doesn't lessen,
But then I've been thought never sit back and frown.

I thought college days would make it all better,
The crowd, the fun and the friends' love.
It's come to a turn where I write a suicide letter,
A few more years and probably you'll see me among the stars, above.