Hard Days

 A few days go without thinking how I'm surviving,
It's hard at times not to think about all this.
The other days go without thinking why I'm surviving,
Maybe I just need a small tiny hug or a forehead kiss.

There are days that I don't want to live through,
Little do I know those are the days that made me what I am.
Realized so much when I got kicked hard on my ass with a shoe,
Life's rough,tough and not easy like making bread butter jam.

What's on my mind? What's in my heart?
No one other than me knows what state I am at,
I can't speak it out to anyone, else it'll hurt the others like a dart.
Everyone's either trying save themselves by putting up a cap or a big bucket hat!

No I'm not being suicidal but what's there to live for,
After-all suffering has come through for the past seven to eight years.
People tell me it'll get better, but really it's you who has to get better..OR
You'll be drowning in your regrets and crying because no one really is ears.

Sometimes I ask myself why is it so hard to enjoy the living given to us?
It's because most of us don't try to get better from where we were.
All of us have been in a dark phase and there's no fuss,
We need to clear our path out when everything seems blur.

I had great friends but now it's like I really don't trust or expect anything,
Feels like all my efforts to keep someone happy while I was dying inside went in vain.
A little love and reciprocation is all I needed from everything,
I'm trying to recover from all the agony and the petty pain.

I wanna isolate myself, go away, vanish into the dark where no one comes searching,
I guess when I leave it'll tell how much of an impact I really made.
I hope my absence in their lives brings about a lurching,
Bad things happen to good people and eventually you see the sunlight slowly fade.

Love, trust , respect make up for any relationship,
Anyone for the matter of fact I mean.
Boyfriend-girlfriend , parents-children or even a simple friendship,
Any of these being in good states makes you feel like you're a part of a team.

People have friends, parents and others and yet are lonely,
Some who don't have anyone feel so homely.
Everything seems so bad when you're lonely and it's like you want to flee.
Everything is a loophole if you look at it closely.

**This might not be the best of my poems because I haven't written in a while,I am writing this at my lowest mental health possible. I really hope things get better with me and I know they will because I'm a work in progress and I'm proud of where I come from.**