Posts

Snakes

 I just need this one good friend, Who'd help me put my depression to an end. Maybe virtual hugs could be put on the send, After all a life you can help to mend. Whilst so much goes through my head, You'd be lucky to not find me dead. Letting it all out in tears on my bed, I'm there for you is what everyone said. While I'm on my bed apart from blood , I shed tears, Overcoming them slowly and getting rid of them fears. All I want right now is someone to say , " it's gonna be okay dear" I just want this one pal who'd cut the bullshit and just hear. At this point I believe life's here to mend , bend or even end me, Happiness like education is never free, Sadness at a point of time is the necessary fee, I have only one heart to be shattered, not three. I wonder why I trusted so many, When I needed someone ,  there weren't any. My life right now is like this little penny, Biased maybe, the one side which lands more often is sadness, with happiness b...

Done :)

Everyone's poisonous I can't even stress, All of them inside their lovely acting dress. More like a costume because everyone has to play a part, Breaks me so much to know how much more taking is to my heart. I've stood strong by people no matter what they've faced, Loved them for who they were, helped them through everything with my shoes being unlaced. Do I really deserve to be ghosted, ignored by all of them? You'd leave me all alone all by myself though at times you called me a gem. Feel like I've been cheated on, fell into this on a repeat, Never gonna be around any of you, if that's how I'm gonna get a treat. I let it go once, twice and now I can't let it happen anymore, I've had enough of the shit-housery and I'm gonna take it no more. My heart literally aches everyday during the night, I'm happy I'm still alive trying to keep up the might. If you've never wanted me around why don't you guys say it on my face? I'll b...

A short one :)

There's not a day where I don't feel so lonely, Everyday went by looking at my phone the whole time. I'd look for someone who'd call or text to make me feel homely. All of the ringtone I'd receive would be my alarm chime. I don't know what to say or how to put things through, All I've wanted in this lock-down is not to be felt alone. I've been taught to not give up no matter what life threw, (at you) It's slow but the seeds of depression have been sown. It could be all in my head, overthinking as I always do, But this time I feel myself that I'm losing myself into wreckage. Wake me up, please do before I you too, Else you'll find me dead before you reach your old age. I write this down at 5 AM today to make myself realize the sleep I've lost, Yes I've been up all night not able to crash into my bed. After all the pain and suffering has a rich cost, I can't get the saddening demons out of my head. I told myself that I'd write ...

Suicidal

I don't know where to start from, Pain has no begining of an end. Life's not like just another rom-com, Broken hearts are so difficult to mend. I thought my life was done, I'd sleep forever, My grave, I doubt will have flowers. Happiness is something I've tried to endeavour, Oh my look me loose my willpower. Happiness will come it's way they said, They never mentioned how long it'd take. It's too late until you find me hanging dead, Afterall it's all to do with the heartbreak. I'm not lonely but I'm left all alone, Why does everyone care when they see me no more? Living the way now, I feel like I've all grown. Look at all of your fake concern destroy me like claymore. Would I get to live a life properly is my question! It's a question for the next time I might be born. It's not someone's feelings that matter but people's Instagram caption, Only if me leaving you forever pricked you like a thorn. I'll be there for you is wh...

Misery

I don't know what to do or say, You promised me that you'd stay. Now without you look ay my hair grow grey, Your presence around me always made me gay. I laid down my soul naked for you, You treated the wounds well until you dissappeared. Now you sprinkled all the salt over them too, Watching me burn in pain you reappeared. People go on to write about something about their tear flood, A pen or a typewriter would always do the job. My story was written with heartbeaks and blood, Want a life now, watch me join the dead mob. Life puts all of down by all means, All I learnt from all of this was... We generally ovethink when we're in our teens, Yet trust shatters into pieces like glauss. The way you broke my trust, my belief and my heart, Everything around me felt so shattered and I was so done. Strengthening, yours in my life was the biggest part, Happiness stoped, hard times again had begun. Friends we could be, you never wanted to... Always left all my messgaes on read. Shou...

BESTFRIEND

"BESTFRIEND", such an overrated term in my view, I was in 8th grade until everything was fine. With you around my life felt like it was in a curfew, A friend to the others a bestfriend I thought was mine. Every "BESTFRIEND" has never stayed until now, Goodbyes sounded like I was really easy to get over. Used me until I fell into the trap, like WOW. Fell down all alone, felt more like a rover. He left,She left.All of them slowly left, They probably have found someone better. Memories were the thieves and my heart got theft, Started writing to myself, the mail filled with letters. I don't know what to do or say, You promised me that you'd stay. Now without you look at my hair grow grey, Your presence around me always made me gay (happy). Your BRB's lasted for days until I texted you again, I knew then that it was all done, All these sad songs are sung by the wren. Hope they know that depression had won. The word is as fake as you people are, Not only aban...

A random feeling

Everyday when I look in the mirror, I wonder how I genuinely used to smile. All this just seems like it was my error, Without you now, I again gotta walk a  thousand mile. In the begining it was you who was joining my heart together, Days passed, I healed from what I was going through. At the end, you broke my heart,  you turned away and never seemed to bother. It again came down to square one, where it seemed hard to move(from). Fake were your promises, truth were all your lies, There was once a time when we were happy. Look what's happened, how time flies, Now when I tell you the truth, you get all snappy. The past is gone, so are you. Those sweet memories still lie within, All my hopes over you, out they blew, Everything I do now, I feel like quitting. What's life that I chose with you? It more like feels like it's without a few. A few without you in it, All alone, I feel like I've lost my spirit. Why don't days g...